Hi Danny...
To break up the long winter next year, how'd you like to come to Switzerland? I went last year and it was great, except I didn't speak French and they didn't speak English in the small villages we visited in the Alps. Still it was awesome and I'm planning to return the last weekend in 2004. If I can arrange airfare for you and Paul, do you want to be an interpreter for nine days?

I have a friend who lives in Denmark. The climate there is similar to Seattle, but what makes it even worse is that the sun sets very early, so during the winter they only have like 6 hours of daylight. I went to Denmark in the summer, it was nice. The people really enjoy and appreciate summer there.

i mean, i'm always reading that it's raining. it's really that bad? does it snow on seattle?

Overtime, I've realized that simply because I'm gay, it doesn't mean I'll have some innate connection with other gays. I take good friends in whatever shape or form they come.

I just wish there was more acceptance and comfort with the gay community.

 

I definitely hear you and have had to learn to surround myself with people that love me, regardless and that are pretty #### cool as well--most of them being straight.

It's simply nice to chat with someone that hears what I'm saying,that's all.....

The unfortunate gay scene here is not at the epicenter of my life, but something i find interesting.

I totally know what you mean....and it's hilarious.

These totally spoiled rich kids here look like they live in garbage cans and they pay good money to acheive that look.

Do you have any gay black friends here in Seattle? Have you had similar conversations like the one you and I are having? Or am i just the overly sensitive one?

Not to be a snob, but I'm totally a good person and I actually give a #### about the space I take up in this world.....none of that seems to make here in the seattle gay community.

Brown often seems to automatically exclude me, and I can guarantee you, I'm not one to use race or sexuality as a barrier.
 

I definitely see how it is a cake walk compared to the south, no doubt.

But, I dunno....I just think there is a definite level of subdued racism that exists here in Seattle. Liberalism aside, we have definite issue with race, even within the gay community.

When guys say crap like, "Sorry, I don't date Black guys" to me, is that racism or merely personal preference. Regardless, it can be sort of hurtful and crappy. I think it has to do that white liberal norms and values are so prominent here and are in no way inclusive of people of color.

Danny,

You've often stated that gays in Seattle have it easy. Seattle has been my only experience.

Why do we have it easy here.....?

Thats cool....I am down in the Bay Area, had a match Monday Night, it was so freakin cold and windy, my serve was all over the place.

Hey Danny. I just recently came across this message board, its really great. Anyways, I remember when RW was on that you said something about playing tennis in High School, and was curious if you still played or not. I am a huge tennis fan myself, and currently play on a USTA league. Take care....

also include frequently asked "non-fiction" guestions. Skip the celebrity stuff, please! Include your coming-out story as well as many you have been told by others. Paul can write about his 'closeted' military experience. It can be a joint effort similar to Fmr.Congressman Steve Gunderson's, and his lover 's book (can't remember the title). Just a thought!!

I think the process of gentrification is a lot more interesting than the result. The "result" is often an area of town that has become so elite and overpriced it pushes out the creative class.

The process is far more interesting, and the neigbhorhood Danny describes that he lives in is exactly that -- in process which comes with lots of diversity. Often it is the Artists that congregate to a depressed part of a city that can begin this "gentrification" process through turning old mills or warehouses into live/work space. It then becomes the "funky & hip" part of town, then developers see dollar signs and get interested - next thing you know you have high priced office, retail, and residential space.

I semi-joked about how the gay community often leads the way in turning around a neighborhood but it is very true - and that has to do with many being involved in this "creative class".

Ben and I joke alot about whereever we move being lucky to have us, because we'll be the first sign of gentrification!

Danny,

I see that you enjoy hiking.

Where do you hike around here?

Have you been up to Rattlesnake Creek?

Thats it. Most people just think about themselves and they are so frightened that something out of their lives could come to light. But they are also interested in lives of others although its not their business... "the neighbor is using a telescope, because he doesnt want to miss something important"

You are talking about neighborhood and the community all the time, it seems to me that friendship with the people who are living next door is really important in the US, thats really great. Would be nice if it would also be such an important part of life in Europe.

Hehe I miss a day of school because I'm sick, I come on here and learn things about a trillion tiumes more important and interesting. Oh and thanks Danny your one of my many gay role models. Ever hear of a guy named Jason Stuart?

What exactly does this word mean. I've been hearing a lot about it, so could someone define it for me. Thanks a ton!

so after living here for a while and deciding to buy a house here, I was curious if you're happy with your decision to settle in Seattle? when I've read some of your messages about how the weather can be frustrating or just not what you're used to I wondered if you had any regrets. I know you've traveled a lot the past few years, did you get the chance to travel much prior to leaving Atlanta to see all the different cities out there?

Is it a good thing? The end goal is usually yuppieville. It's good in that it restores historic property, raises value and tax income for the city, and makes for more liveable communities. But there is an argument out there that it merely squeezes out and prices out the poor people.

I'll post more later. And Drew I'm in a permanent position working in a planning department for a City up here!

recently with Scott. All I can say is...she seems to be very happy!

Hi Danny. What are your thoughts on the other guys from the RW who are gay and did the show like Shane, Chris, and Dan-who does not represent us well at all. I don't want to be negative so that's all I'll say about him. You were the only normal one. Come to think of it the only "normal/cool" one gay or straight. Thanks for answering.

Is there room enough for a DOG???

...that's cool. I would love to be closer to downtown, but am not disappointed where we chose. It's only about a 15-20 minute drive. Did you guys check out any of the condo's up here? Most were more expensive than the house we got! Anyway, when are you going to do a guest appearance or lecture or something in Seattle? It would be cool to have the opportunity to meet you some day.

how funny.......I know of 2 lesbian couples that moved to that area - you may be neighbors! haha.

is always the gay community!

Now that is fact.

well, I work downtown off of Olive & Minor but when I said we bought south of Seattle, it's in Federal Way - not sure if you know that city since you've moved here or not. Anyway, I grew up there and it's not my fav place of all, but familiar and allowed us to buy a new house which we can afford. Seattle housing is so freakin' spendy! I like the older houses, but have heard some bad stories on the repair costs and upkeep on them. I assume you're in North Seattle, maybe in the U dist?

What's up buddy? So I was just curious if you still get stopped all the time up here in Seattle by people wanting to meet you or if it's calmed down some since RW and the RR/RW challenge.

Also, I just bought a house south of Seattle with my boyfriend - kind of solidifying the relationship - how has home ownership treated you and Paul so far?

R.

I was under the impression that you were getting on the clerks and shirt-folders that they want to push this as a suburban white-brand. My point is I wouldn't think most of these kids care as long as they get their paychecks.

I have no doubts or surprises about any of what you said comes down from corporate.

Recently our local store at the Providence Place Mall has taken to hiring a male and female model to greet people at the door, wearing nothing but boxers and such.

Sex still sells.

"It doesn't have so much to do with their models as it does their store employees who represent the brand. They totally want it to be seen as a white suburban style."

Wow, that's as broad of a stereotype that there could be.

I know a brown-skinned employee at A&F, nothing could be further from the truth from my perspective. I'm not sure how such a statement could even be made, considering the scope involved. I don't they *want* anything more than a paycheck and some discounts. I don't think there's an effort to push some sort of racial barrier regarding clothes wearing.

It's like saying all gays like Liza...come on now.

hey danny,
i need some advise...okay so there's this guy i have been hanging out with for the past three months...we did pretty much everything a person would do in a relationship however, he only wants to be friends. should i cont to show affectionate and put more effort in him so he will like me eventually or just be me and let it hang...even though we're friends...he still cuddles with me...kisses me...confusing yea...i reckon...help

Hi D,

Hope you and Paul are well.

Thanks for responding to my post last week about large corporates and the impact on the environment. Your comments about Bush were interesting.

Do you think he will win a second term?
As an Aussie observer, people over there must be getting tired if the economy and the domestic issues.

It's amazing. When I last visited the US in Nov/Dec 2000, the US economy was so strong. The Australian economy was doing well, but our dollar had slid down from 68 US cents to 50. Now our dollar is back up to around 60-62 US cents. Sept 11 had a lot to do with it, but so much has happened in 2 years.

I guess you no longer have a fear of heights-which is good for you. You are always photographed in a tree, up on a rock, or on a mountain, etc. When will we ever get some pics of Paul? I know I know you guys want your privacy and Paul wants anonymity, so that's okay, I understand. Well thanks for your continued efforts. Take care.

Danny,

It's supposed to be sunny this afternoon..right?

ya'll going to the pacific or caribbean side?

I'm jealous.

Danny...sounds like from what you said that Seattle is addressing the Combined Sewer Overflow (CSO) issue, which is seperating storm water from sewer. This is done because heavy rains cause sewer overflows. The EPA has a mandate that all cities must seperate this out, which is great - but it's one of those "unfunded" mandates. So they tell us (the cities) that we have to do something that, at least in our situation, is estimated to cost more than our entire city budget. The cost to seperate these lines in older cities up here in the Northeast is enormous. Good to see Seattle is getting it done.

Campuses fertile ground for depression

Thursday, April 24, 2003

By Sally Kalson, Post-Gazette Staff Writer

She's been drawing up to 300 students per appearance on her tour of college campuses, but Cara Kahn isn't talking to them about show biz. Instead, the former star of MTV's "The Real World Chicago" is speaking about her experience with clinical depression and encouraging students to seek help.

Kahn's appearance is part of the GOAL campaign, which stands for Go On and Live (www.goonandlive.com). It's aimed at getting young people to recognize the signs of depression and seek help. She will speak at 5:30 p.m. at Wean Auditorium, 5000 Forbes Ave. in Oakland. Her salary is being paid by Wyeth Pharmaceuticals, but a spokeswoman said the seminar would be "brand-free."

About 1.5 million college students are already diagnosed with depression; no on knows how many other cases have yet to be discovered. Untreated, it can lead to suicide, the third largest killer of people ages 15 to 24.

"When it came out on the show, I started getting fan letters from people suffering from depression, saying they felt better knowing I had it, too," said Kahn, 23, who lives in St. Louis.

"I started writing back to encourage them, preaching the message, and then I got involved in the campaign."

The 10-city tour, which comes to Carnegie Mellon University today, reflects the growing concern over mental health issues among college students and administrators.

Campus counseling centers in recent years have reported marked increases in both the number of students seeking help and the severity of those problems, with depression a major component.

"There's a definite trend toward students arriving on campuses with more serious problems," said Robert Gallagher, a psychologist at the University of Pittsburgh who conducts an annual survey of counseling center directors on 300 campuses.

In 1988, 56 percent of center directors reported an increase in more serious problems, Gallagher said. The past few years, that number has risen to 85 percent. And serious problems nearly doubled, rising from 9 percent of the caseload 10 years ago to 17 percent last year, and more hospitalizations.

Earlier this year, a study at Kansas State University showed similar results. It examined the problems addressed at a university counseling center over 13 years and found that the number of students seen with depression nearly doubled, as did the number seen with suicidal thoughts.

The increase is probably due to a number of factors, said Barbara Blazick, a psychologist at the Carnegie Mellon counseling center. More divorce and economic pressure at home, more drinking and illegal drug use at younger ages, over-scheduled lives, competitive pressure.

"The fall semester is always the heaviest for us because of making the transition to a new environment after the summer," she said.

In addition, more students arrive on campus already in therapy.

"A number of them would not have been able to make it in the past," said Gallagher. "Now, with treatment and medication, they can come in and compete.

"But students also go off their medications sometimes, or the medications stop working or need to be adjusted, and they wind up at the center in a crisis."

Depression is not the same as sadness or mourning, said Dr. Stuart Hirsch, consulting psychiatrist at the Carnegie Mellon counseling center since 1990.

"Clinical depression is an emotional state that affects the body, thoughts and mood of an individual," he said. "It's a very definite emotional state -- highly distressing, serious and potentially life-threatening."

The biology and psychology of depression are inextricably bound, he said.

"There is a chemical imbalance in the brain, but we know that can be caused by experience and environmental factors. Medication can alter brain chemistry and change the psychology of an individual, but so can psychotherapy."

Depressed students may not be able to attend classes, do their academic work or have a social life. In severe cases they may feel hopeless, worthless and suicidal.

But it doesn't have to be that way.

As the incidence of depression grows, so do the campus attempts to address it. Barbara Koppens is managing director of the nonprofit Screening for Mental Health in Wellesley, Mass., which runs National Depression Screening Day, where people can answer a two-page questionnaire.

"In 1993, the first year we did colleges, only 15 participated," she said. "The next year, we recruited 175."

Last year the number was 450, each averaging 71 students, or about 32,000 students screened. Now the organization offers online screening tailored to each campus; that produced 50,000 additional screenings last year.

"Colleges have been a mainstay of our program," Koppens said. "They're looking to be proactive in identifying the problem and encouraging people to get help."

Treatments may include medication, but not necessarily, said Rachel Freund, public education director of the Mental Health Association of Allegheny County.

"Talk therapy with a trusted counselor can be very important," she said. "There are also tools students can learn. If they're feeling overwhelmed or hopeless, they may be able to reframe those things."

College students tend to do things that make depression worse, Freund said, from too little sleep and exercise to too much drinking. Taking control of those behaviors can help them improve.

Kahn, who graduated from Washington University in St. Louis in 2001, was diagnosed with depression at a young age.

"In high school I wasn't finding pleasure in activities I used to enjoy," she said. "I couldn't sleep or was sleeping too much, I had anxiety -- real textbook symptoms. But I didn't want to admit there was anything wrong with me.

"Then, when I was diagnosed, I had to deal with feeling embarrassed by the disease. Not that anyone said anything, but obviously there's a stigma to mental disorders."

When her illness became known, she said, two of her female roommates said they felt they weren't getting the "real" Cara.

"They felt I was sugarcoated due to my medications -- and one of them was a registered nurse. She of all people should have known better. In reality, they were getting the real me because I was on medications."

Nice to meet you in a techno sort of way! When you lived in Georgia, where did you go to the beach ? St.Simons Island, Jekyll Island, Tybee Island, Hilton Head , or the Charleston Beaches. Are you involved with any environmental organizations in Georgia? By the way, Savannah is starting a gay youth group called StandOut. Information can be found at www.firstcitynetwork.com which is the gay community organization of Savannah. Also if interested you can contact omontoya@comcast.net , he is the major force behind it and he is a reporter for WSVH the local NPR and Georgia Public Radio Station. The Right Wing Christians have there panties in a wad so expect lots of nastiness. Also StandOut has very little money !!! I don't know if they can afford to have you speak. Please think about it! Thanks for your time. Cordially, Christopher