is where it's at baby.
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Comments: Danny, PS--I heard Paul is a brown boy. Good going.  I'm Puerto Rican.
Posted by Al on 8/14/2002 at 15:50:35
IP: 208.155.145.39
 

hey guys...got to get out of here.
take it easy. Hope to hear from you soon Jhune.
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what's up kid? Got a question for you that i'll just throw at you now. I've asked you this before, but this time I'm serious. Would you be interested in redesigning CTOC? Think about it and drop me an email. If you don't have time, no problem.
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NO more flattery!!! I'm far from perfect and am a work in progress like everyone else. The more I remain modest, the more I'll work to improve. The minute I stop being modest, the moment I regress.
And looking for honest guys...look for them at the grocery store!
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Hey Sivart...
so AL...here's another point. We also plan someday to have a family together and that's always motivating to look forward to. (so domesticated) The thought of spending our lives going out to bars and clubs makes me want to puke.
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just like Carrie said, it's good that you've had these bad experiences to know what you want. I'm glad I had my earlier experiences because I learned what not to ever repeat and how to avoid hurting people. It's so easy to be selfish, especially when you're young. You gotta have those practice runs.
yeah, and you're right, guys need a good dose of reality and need not put so much focus on the physical world. It's a biological downfall though. Men are naturally more prone to place importance on visual stimulation. It just takes realizing this and working to get past it.
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thanks for the kind words. Just trying to be a more positive example in a fcuked gay world, that's all.

Al, blissful yes, but just as real as any other. We do have our arguments from time to time just like anyone. It's natural. I want people to understand that our relationship isn't some unrealistic, perfect thing with no problems. That would be unrealistic.
The main problem with gay relationships today is the fact that boundaries haven't been established yet. This debate over what's acceptable and what's not has to be cleared. Guys who claim that open relationships are acceptable are on crack. That is NO relationship. A relationship is devoting oneself and sacraficing. What is one sacraficing if one is having his cake and eating it too? That's just a fcuk buddy, not a relationship. It pisses me off that so many guys accept this lifestyle.
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sorry tommie, I don't have a public email address anymore but hey, i'm here. talk away.
Mike, of course you're welcome here.
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hola Carrie and all. Can't believe i'm indoors since it's such a beautiful day. I'm insane!!! But Al, I'm not going to claim to be the know all about relationships but here's what i've learned so far. I'm constantly interrogating guys that make long term relationships work (and there aren't many out there). Paul and I are at the 2.5 year mark and we work so well because we have so much fun together. It's the classic best friend scenario we all search for but rarely find because we get distracted by lust. I think this is where most guys go so wrong. We get caught up in looks and sexuality and forget what's really important. Sex is so not important in the big picture (though it does add to a relationship). Guys who put too much emphasis on sex are doomed to be alone forever in an endless cycle of failed relationships.
another thing is that we never walk away from an argument. We always clear the air before we part. I think that's very important to avoid misunderstandings.
point 3, we don't go out to gay bars and clubs often because the main point of those places is to get laid and that only causes problems. point 4, we each have our own personal time. It's good to be apart from time to time and take a break from one another. Makes you miss each ohter and appreciate each other. point 5, too many guys look for their mate to complete what's missing in themselves. You can't love someone until you completely are happy and love yourself. A relationship is all about sharing. What keeps interest going is what a person is giving. When a person starts taking more and giving less, they become a black hole and suck energy. It's give and take. This is where most gays go wrong because so many of us look for guys to complete parts of ourselves we're not happy with. That's not how it works. hope this gives you some insight and if anyone with experience wants to give advice, i'd love to hear. A relationship is work and the toughest, most rewarding task i've ever taken on.
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Man, I can't believe you let something I say bother you this much. Sorry I upset you so because I didn't mean it that way. I'm just straightforward and maybe a bit insensitive at times. That's just the way I deal with things. "Suck it up and move on" is my motto, though it doesn't work for everyone. I just didn't know what you expected me to do or say since I'm no therapist. Hope that puts you at ease.
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words only carry the meaning that we place on them. I think we're all overly sensitive to words these PC days.

People do a lot of F'ed up things, especially these days when selfishness is so accepted in our culture. It's all about "me, me, me". It's easy to avoid those kind of people though and seek out better people in life.
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but you don't have to support him. Guys like that are usually empty feeling inside and do that kind of thing to make themselves feel more complete. Nothing you can really do about it though because he'll have to figure that one out on his own.
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So Dan, is he going to "grow up"
alot of guys need to grow up.
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Yep, i'm at work...just reading after my talk with a psycho earlier this am.
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For anyone interested, Paul and I just saw John Mayer and it was well worth the money. Awesome show and an awesome guy. Thanks Jhune for getting us hooked on him.
Danny

I'm sittin here all pumped up on Caffeine and i've got to go running to work it out. As usual, i've enjoyed the talks. Michael, good luck and stay around. There are alot of people who frequent this board who are in your shoes. Peace.
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There's no advice i can really give you since I don't know you, but I do wish you all the courage in the world.
Just keep a positive, open mind and try hard to understand where your parents are coming from. If they're fair, they'll do the same for you.
much love,
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you're free to believe whatever you please. I don't even know what this higher power is, but I do know this...there's something out there greater than we are. We as humans are so full of ourselves these days and that's going to be our downfall. I'm not even a religious person either. I just believe in a higher level of life that we're all working towards.
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I guess it comes down to you making a decision of which is more important to you...the military or living your life openly.
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man, I wish we were related. We're both from the same part of Ga, but no relation. I'm a big fan of hers though.
and yes, I see all of this madness as some higher powers' plan for me. We do all have a purpose in life and sometimes it just falls in our lap. I'm really trying to make as much positveness out of this experience as possible without being selfish.
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yep...miss the music scene in ATL. My favorite place (MJQ) had an awesome ragae/drum'n'base mix night. Can't stand the circuit partyesque gay scene there though.

John, i'm not sure...it's up to schools to bring me in and at this point, no schools in VA have booked, though it's still early and most schools wont book for a couple more months. I'll update my schedule as the dates start to roll in.
my dates as of now are:

Colorado State-Aug 23
Boston College-Oct 8
Coastal Carolina-Oct 9
U. of Pittsburgh-Oct 10
U. of California(Davis)-Oct 23
Texas A&M-Nov 22
Fla. Southern College-Jan 15

why so down?
flying must be fun as hell, though Alabama sucks.
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Comments: miserable
Posted by Chad on 8/4/2002 at 15:40:11
IP: 64.12.96.136
 

Im in the military........so sad and depressed....I feel soooooo alone and scared. I really think you are cool! I hope everthing is going great in Seattle. Are you on the board right now?

what's up Chad and Mike...
Kauai...I knew that spelling didn't look right. Yeah, I just look chilling in the outdoors over there and Kauai has plenty of that. You're right though, there's no nightlife.
Chad, how old are you and where are you stationed?
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that's funny because I met another guy that I hung out with in Kuauii named Stoney. Sorry man, didn't dig Oahu. Honolulu was nothing that we don't already have have here on the mainland.
I'm a big fan of Kuauii.
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...and why all gay men should read it.
It's a short story by Thomas Mann about a sad old man who goes on vacation and tries to look younger than he really is. He stalks a younger guy throughout the entire story, then dies pathetically in the end. Sounds familiar, eh? and was written over a hundred years ago.
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Do I personally know you?
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man, give me a break. We're both rediculously young. You're just getting started and you haven't waited too late to find yourself. It's good that you're doing it now and not later like so many older guys. It's really sad to see old men running around acting like they're 19. Actually it's really depressing. "Death in Venice?"
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Comments: R-rated>>
Posted by Antz on 8/4/2002 at 15:26:37
IP: 62.248.249.118
 

lol, ha ha... I have to admit that I only saw one or two of the episodes of RW with u in it like AGES AGO (not to make u feel old )....

I've been so lovey-dovey for the past week. This new guy of mine is just making me feel so good.

But I've had a huge age crisis going for the last few years... prob due to the fact that I've been supressing so many emotions and stuff fo rso long... so now that I'm allowing myself to be what/who I am, I feel like I should have done it ages ago... and os I feel OLD... even though I don't look it, lol

first off, I'll admit that i've been sucked into watching the RW marathon half the weekend because the weather sucks. It's embarrassing to say, but I figure it's about time I watch all these seasons i've never seen and get a grasp on where all the RW'ers are coming from. Point is that i watched a couple of episodes of our season last night and couldn't believe how young I looked. I was 22 at the time going on 16. Not to say that I still don't look young for my age, but I thank God that I at least look like I'm old enough to get into a Rated R movie these days.
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congrats...and how old are you?

board is not to happening this afernoon, eh?
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afternoon guys...anyone on the board?
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